buttfingerer®
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Official site of the Second Knuckle Club
buttfingerer®

Nobody better lay a finger on my buttfingerer

Crispety. Crunchety. Peanut-buttery. A finger. The candy bar nobody asked for, and the token that went deeper anyway.

CA COMING SOON — STAY KNUCKLED
Buy $BUTTFINGERER Join the Second Knuckle Club →
2Knuckles deep
1Finger
YESNail included
0%Tax · 0% Shame
Click to cry
The buttfingerer mascot, a laughing-crying face in a blue hoodie, biting into a buttfingerer bar
the first bite is always the hardest
Crispety ✦ Crunchety
As seen on Facebook MarketplaceWalmart CheckoutTrail CamPolice BodycamCow UltrasoundHappy Tails Animal ShelterA Gender RevealGate ???
§ 01 — The Product

Meet the bar.

One finger. Real chocolate. Real fingernail texture. A crispety, crunchety, peanut-buttery center that flakes exactly where you'd expect.

buttfingerer®
Crispety. Crunchety. Second-knuckle-y.

A full-length, chocolate-enrobed finger with a crispety, crunchety, peanut-buttery core and an anatomically suggestive fingernail. Individually wrapped. Structurally sound to the second knuckle.

Product specifications

Suggested uses

    Not suggested

      Nutrition Facts
      3 servings per containerServing size 1 knuckle (47g)
      Amount per servingCalories
      420
      % Daily Value*
      * The % Daily Value (DV) tells you how much a nutrient in a serving of buttfingerer® contributes to a daily diet. 2,000 calories a day is used for general nutrition advice. Knuckle depth is used for everything else.
      INGREDIENTS: MILK CHOCOLATE, PEANUT BUTTER, CORN FLAKES, A FINGER.
      CONTAINS: PEANUTS, MILK, SOY, FINGER.

      ⚠ Warning

        § 02 — Membership

        The Second Knuckle Club

        Depth is commitment. Anyone can touch the tip. The Club is for people who kept going.

        The Club Oath

          — sworn, knuckle on heart

          How to go deeper

            Club Rules

              § 03 — Get Carded

              Mint your membership card

              Official, laminated-looking, and generated entirely on your device. Nobody sees your name but you, your mother, and whoever you post it to.

              Card is not valid for travel, credit, or entry into actual clubs.
              Download PNG Post it on X
              § 04 — The Depth Chart

              How deep are you?

              Buttfingerers are grown, not made. Plant yours and watch the knuckles disappear. The roadmap, like everything here, is measured in knuckles.

              Planted depthFingertip0.0 cm
              First knuckle
              Second knuckle
              The whole hand
              Go on. Nobody's watching. (Everybody's watching.)
                § 05 — Field Evidence · 17 Exhibits · Classification: Crispety

                Documented sightings

                Every photograph below is real in the sense that it exists. Click any exhibit to examine it at evidentiary resolution.

                § 06 — Buttonomics

                The numbers, such as they are

                Audited by a man who was holding a buttfingerer at the time.

                100%fingers

                Supply distribution

                • Liquidity: burned, like the bridge behind you
                • Team allocation: 0 — we have no hands left
                • Presale: none. Nobody got in early. Everybody got in deep.
                • Fingers: all of them
                § 07 — Acquisition

                How to buy

                Four steps. Three are real. Guess which.

                § 08 — Verified Knuckles

                What the Club is saying

                In the press

                § 09 — Frequently Asked

                Questions

                § 10 — Corporate

                Buttfingerer Confectionery Group

                Newsroom, careers, and the investor relations department (one man, one finger, one spreadsheet).

                Newsroom

                  Careers — we're hiring hands

                    Buy